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in manly form like being a man i'm just wondering if this thing is supposed to be this way or that way okay let's do it this way yeah that's why i'm saying this thing's off Technology. Technology. Technology. So let me talk about the few fathers. I'm going to speak about six. Six of them that I want any father who is listening to me must get to grudge themselves in. And when I speak about fathers, I'm not just speaking about father in the sense of somebody who made a child and then is called a father. I'm talking about somebody who is accountable for somebody. I didn't see that window there, but today it's cold. So let me start by mentioning a few fathers. and it's not a in chronological order in or in a in a order of worst to best or best to worst it's not in an order of I can almost say it's not in an order of of of a scale but I just giving you the kind of fathers that is in the world The number one father that is a problem in South Africa is the absent father. It's one of the biggest issues that South Africa have. I don't know about America because I don't live in America. I don't know about Spain. I don't live there. I don't know Germany, I don't know anywhere else because I don't live there. But I'm specifically talking about South Africa. And South Africa, I'm saying the South African fathers, the absent father. It's the father that you can almost say due to the fact that he died so long ago. He's no longer in your life. Maybe you were one year of age and he died in an accident God forbid something like that. Maybe it's a father that was literally he was the one that impregnate your mother through an act of rape. And now he's gone. A father who is literally I almost said it. You can call that one a dog type of father. Because a dog impregnates another dog and God is gone. Never to take care of the puppies. That's an absent father. I want to ask you if you talking about an absent father do you know that there are fathers that are there physically but yet absent physically is number four but because of emotionally detachment to the child is not there Due to abandonment, he is not there. The absent father always leaves a void. Henry Minkies, that's my stepdad. One thing I can tell you now, we can say whatever we want to say, but I can guarantee you now, everything else he did may be wrong, but being there, he was there. He could have, I can tell you now, he could have maybe not been in his own eldest son's life. But for me, he was there. He's an absent father in his... I think his son, who was two years of age when he left. Okay, let me not put numbers to it. But all I know is that the son was very young when he left the son's mother. He was absent in his life. Look at the father figure. He's a father figure for me who is a stepson. But not a father figure to his son. But I can tell you now. A father you can see him as one father but have different roles And can I tell you something? Mark, do you know that I was a father for the Shante, but not as much for my two sons? because my two sons were in the Northern Cape with my mom and their grandmother, the other one. I didn't have enough time spent with them. It made me to be an absent father. Although emotionally I was invested in them, but physically I was not there. It left such a void in their lives. I just want to read something quickly. Let's go to 2 Samuel. 2 Samuel 13. 2 Samuel 13 verse 18. 2 Samuel 13 verse 18 says the following. And she had a garment of diverse colors upon her. For with such robes were the king's daughter that were virgins apparel. Then his servant brought her out and bowled the door after her. Yeah, sorry, I said it wrongly. I should have said, sorry, sorry. I should have said 2 Samuel 13 to 18. the whole paragraph, I wrote it wrongly here. It talks about King David towards Absalom. Though a great king, David was emotionally distant as a father. He was a great king, but he was a good father to Absalom. That is why I'm saying to you today that as one father, you can stand in different roles. To one, you are great, but to somebody else, you're not. to Levin I can be this Uber driver but to to to to to Lytton I have I'm not the Uber driver because I don't drive him around Vicky is the Uber driver so as a one father i'm different in different child's life i'm absent in laverne's life but more present in the chase and you might be thinking it's funny isn't they both my my my daughters can i tell you why because the moment laverne gets into house she's in a room and i don't go into a room i'm absent to her but lache kept on coming into my room same father same house different functions With every project I help Neshe Laverne is independent She does all her projects Most of it herself It's not because I wasn't there I was there When she was younger But she outgrown the place where I need to help all the time. That's an absent father, but yet present. Bishop I had two fathers The one that was the reason why i standing here today my biological father then i have another father who's a stepfather but within the time frame of my life can i tell you my biological father, though alive, will never be able to teach me what my stepdad taught me. Not for the reason being that my stepdad... How can I explain? No, no, no. Let me say, the reason being is that my stepdad was most of my life, present in my life, showing me how to drive, ride a bicycle. Showing me how to be emotionally intelligent. You know what I mean by that? This guy will take broom. He doesn't look for shampoo or belt or anything that is around. He will take. And when I cry, I want to say this in Afrikaans. Hold your back. I can't cry, but I was hurt. He said, keep quiet. You're making a noise. So emotionally, I had to, although getting hurt, the moment I got hurt, the moment I also need to show I'm not hurt. He's taught me emotional intelligence. Diamond, who is my real dad, can't teach me that. because within the time frame of my life, he spent probably three years of my entire life with me. But he's my dad and he's still alive. It not to say he died but the time spent with my stepdad and the time spent with my biological father Assur there a huge difference Absent father I'm going to the next father. And I want you to picture yourself as a father. And remember, I'm saying to you, this is not about fathers only. It's Father's Day. The emphasis is only on father. But it's mostly on relationships. Let's call it relationships. Because you know I am saying the relationship that you have with your daughter, sister, brother, aunt, it could be all of this together. Let's talk about the provider only father. Do you know the provider only father? bishop is that one that whenever the child is saying i'm hungry you throw a whole loaf of bread in front of the child he gave all the poloni he gave every food that you can find whatever the child is in need of a mata plant He believes his job ends with putting food on the table. That's his job. He said, I'm your dad, but has no spiritual or emotional investment in you as a child. He's the one that he can get paid millions of rent and spend millions of time at work and never come from work and check up on your homework Dibra is like he making sure that whatever is needed for you he provides Do you know in Ephesians 6 verse 4, it says, Father, fathers in fact, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Now, my question to you is that if it's set for fathers to be like that, to instruct, to give instructions, to help you, how do you help a child every time when they ask for a fish, you give them the fish? You never taught them how to fish. The provider father. How do you teach a child to provide for themselves if you don't teach them how to? I mean, Eli, if you go to the Eli, He was a preacher who's, who lightly provided materially, but he failed to discipline his sons. He failed. And I'm not going to get into that, but you can go and read 1 Samuel, 1 Samuel 2 from 12 to 17. or maybe maybe maybe i should just it's not a it's not a long it's not long 12 to 17 is me uh second samuel first sorry first samuel uh 2 first samuel 2 from 12 i'm going to read quickly so bear with me now the sons of eli were sons of velial They knew not the Lord and the priest custom with the people was that when any men offered sacrifice the priest servants came While the flesh was sitting in the fleshwood and three teeth in his hand, and he stuck it into the pen or kettle or caldron or pot, all the flesh book brought up the priest took to him. So they did in Shiloh unto all the Israelites that came together. Also before they burned the fed, the priestservants came and said to the man that sacrificed, Give flesh to the roast for the priest, for he will not have sodium flesh of thee, but raw. And if any man said unto him, Let them not fail to burn the fed presently, and then take as much as their soul desired, then he would answer him, Nay, but thou shalt give it to me now and if not I will take it by force. Wherefore the sin of young men was very great before the Lord for men abhorred the offering of the Lord. Can you see what it is like? There's everything but I don't teach these sons of mine. I'm going to the next one. There's one father, and remember I said father, but also at the same time, I'm not saying just father, I said relationships. So don't try and say, I'm talking about fathers only. I'm talking about relationships, all, all relationships. Because if you can do this in a relationship, or vice versa, if you cannot do this in relationships, you are good to go. Now let's talk about the present but broken fathers. He's there for you. But the pains that he's going through, the pain, not pains, but pain. Is there multiple pains? Pain Pain Not pain The pain that he going through is breaking him from inside it makes Now, when somebody is emotionally bruised, the chances of that person giving you directions is a bit of a struggle because there's something I always talk about. Bishop, I don't know if you ever heard me saying, if I have a toothache, a bone can be next to me cutting somebody's legs off, but I won't care about that person. I will care about my own toothache. is the same with this father. This father, he's there, but the pain that he carries, he cannot be there for others. You know, this is the one that he had generational curses that was brought upon him, not dealing with it, and now taking it to his family. The father who was never there for him, now he's not there for his own children. But this has to be said. I understand. You know my stepfather was there for me. He was there for me. He had so many things that he instilled in me. Yeah, instilled. So many things that he gave me. But he himself was broken inside as well. But he never talked about it because remember, those years men are not supposed to cry nobody hits a woman unless there an issue within you some no somebody actually said once that the way you see the world is a mirror reflection of yourself The mirror reflection of yourself is to hit a woman. Is the hurt that you have inside that you want to instill in others. That's the third day. You know, I want to, I want to, to, to, this is psychologically. that I'm talking about. You know, like, no, no, no. It's spiritual and psychological. Because if I can tell you now, a broken father who had a generation of people that couldn't cry although they are hurt is going to repeat patterns. Like, it will never stop. It will never stop. It can never stop. That is the present but broken father. I am of the opinion that underlying issues create a problem for everybody, not just for your kids, but for all other people involved as well. We actually had a conversation this morning me and my wife about somebody that so much wanted to fit in Like we want to fit in proof that he also a part of you can almost call this kind of tribe And just by proving that they have a sense of being, I'm a part of this guy's. You understand? But he's not a part of that crew. It's just that you want to prove that he's a part of that crew. It's an inner psychologically pain that you carry to belong somewhere. Bishop. You feel you don't belong even. Yeah. You see, Bishop? You don't belong. If I'm Let me talk about me Bishop, it's always nice to To talk out of experience I grew up With a Mentality That I'm a white person's Son I grew up Skin Like this between Mutsuanas, black people. I believe I was the white guy. I believed it with my whole heart. Do you know why, Bishop? Because I was told my father is a boor. Now, boor in where I come from is a white person. it's not a farmer because a farmer we only know farmers as white people where I come from I grew up like that I'm a white person then I grew up with Motswana culture now I'm a black person at the same time while being white Now when I speak to the black people I can also speak Afrikaans because it's the language. I can relate with the culture. But Bishop, do you know what it does? It killed my identity. Because now, I'm white, I'm black, and my mother is colored. It's a confusion. It's a total confusion. I then go as far as calling myself Mopedi. What is Mopedi? You know why, Bishop? when you count in the language you say so because of I'm two in one even more confused I was the one that was broken from inside no I can't tell my son what am I I can't I can't tell my son because when my son goes to my family, suddenly all my sisters are Muzwanas. Both my sisters, I mean. Not all. Let's talk about my stepfather's side. Those two sisters are Muzwanas because my stepdad was Muzwan. Then when I take my kids there The Motswana culture Needs to be proven to them So when my son goes there You must also know this Culture that we go Just to find out But My dad is a colored He's not a white man He has never been a white man It's just because he's clever to do farming. And they thought Spike Bittman imagine the confusion that caused me to be present but broken inside not knowing my own identity. My identity I had to find in Christ Because that's where I realized All these lies that I've been telling myself all along And imagine that All my friends When we grew up I was the only one with hair under the arms Beard come out quickly And it's only white people that beard come quickly now I even get more confirmation that no I am wife do you understand generationally this would have killed me if I didn't knew my father the time when I know him I started to know him my question to you is that What is there in your life that makes you to feel like your identity has been lost? Because Jacob, he showed favoritism to Joseph. And that caused a division under his children. because of a father broken. And I'm not going to go into Jacob's background. But if you go and read Jacob's background, Jacob's background will show you flames. These are the things that breaks us as men. It breaks us as men. But also, it's a universal law that identity should be found sooner rather than later. I can say it just a man thing I can say it just a father thing I can say it just a mother thing It a universal thing Jesus. I think I've been on this one too long. I'm going to go now to the restored father. He may be having mistakes He may have made mistakes But always turned back to God and His family With humility and responsibility I have made a mistake, I am sorry He restores everything He's the one that Anytime, whenever there's a problem He faces the problems Head on You know These are the fathers that says Love covers a multitude Of sins You know 1 Peter 4 verse 8 Love covers a multitude of sins These are the fathers that restore I raped you I'm so sorry But I want to be a part of my child's life Not so long ago Can you picture this? I'm talking about two, three weeks back somewhere in the East Rand, Boxburg or some place I can't remember where exactly they said a child was raped by the uncle and the child kept quiet only to find out the child is now pregnant and she had to come up up or out with the situation, the story. Now the child is going through 11 years of age And I didn mention that I forgot to tell you 11 years of age somebody who is no Lytton is 12 I forgot who is Lyle age 11 years of age this girl now is pregnant with the uncle's child needing to go through through court in and court out. The lawyer of that guy is now making as if the child is sick. That guy now, all he had to do is let me take this further and take my punch, you know, like sorry, I'm sorry. If he can do that, he won't get a long sentence of rape. He can maybe get 5 to 12 years and then come out and take care of the child. But because of society and their nonsense. My question to you is that if you've made a mistake, why keep on living in that mistake? You don't have to live in that mistake anymore. You don't have to live in that mistake anymore. Say, I'm sorry. I've made a mistake. Let's go forward. The prodigal son's father. It's literally a picture of grace, forgiveness, and restoration. He said, don't worry, son. It's fine. You've made the mistake. Come. You've made a mistake. I'm going to the next father, spiritual father. Now you find a spiritual father. that mentors, teachers and even covers others with spirituality. These are the fathers who is not even a biological son. It's not even a stepson. It's just somebody that you feel like, hey, I need to take care of this person. in your heart you feel it and let's not talk about spiritual fathers too much because this one it tramps on too many toes bishop do you know that there's even a fight to say why do you call him papa you know like but your own father papa you have never called papa it's a it's a big big fight so i'm not going to get too much into it now i just want to say to you if you look at looking at uh paul to terminate paul calls timothy my true son in the faith first uh timothy 1 verse 2 my true son in the faith first timothy one verse two why would he say true son in the faith once again i'm leaving it there you have many instructors but not many fathers no no let me let me go to first corinthians 4 verse 15 What did I say in 1 Corinthians? My mind just wondered 1 Corinthians 4 And verse 15 It says For though ye have 10,000 instructors in Christ Yet have ye not many fathers For in Christ I have begotten you Through the gospel I got you through the gospel You see spiritual father I seen so many people that doesn want somebody to say that you have a spiritual father It's like, Ema, don't. But let's not go there. I want to talk about the father after God's heart. The father after God's heart. The father after God's heart, these guys, let me call them these guys, are the one that literally leads with love. They lead with humility. They lead with wisdom. They lead with integrity. you're the most one the biggest one integrity these are the guys that you can call them the the the the jesus of today yeah i said it that jesus is of today because somebody will say how can somebody be like jesus he was perfect i don't care jesus said you will do greater things than i did so why can't you be the jesus of today and to have million followers as long as they follow god There's a guy called Joseph. This Joseph guy I'm talking about, he was Jesus' earthly father. That one was, you can almost call him the one that Utsure Henpov. Bishop Kenji was saying, you know what I'm saying. Mother, that man, he was obedient. He was so humble He was very protective over Jesus I don know how to explain it For somebody that knew, I never had an intercourse, whatever. And yet, stick. That's what you call fathers. I know of some guys that they literally know for a fact that it's not their child, but they love the mother so much that they took care of the child as if it is their own child. They even said to the mother, don't tell this one that you are that one's child. I want to take care. The guy left. I want to take care. This is what Proverbs says. Proverbs 20 verse 7. Proverbs 20 verse 7 says this. the just man walked in his integrity did you hear the just man walked in in his integrity his children are blessed after him as a father walks in integrity so that your children can be blessed after you That is such a wow. So a nice scene. It's so wow if fathers only know the Bible. Because if they know the Bible, it makes them as parents or not just fathers but mothers as well. actually hear safe fathers and mothers as well because once you know the Bible and this is what the Bible say you so much want your children to be blessed But where does the blessing come from? Because here it says it. The just man walketh in his integrity. I sometimes I sometimes don't like this but let me do this let's go to the let's go to the amplified one amplify the righteous man walks in his integrity blessed happy, fortunate and viable are his children after him. That's what it says. And these are the things that we're going through as men. But we don't talk. Ma, do you know, I sometimes cry when my family is not around. Because I can't cry when they are here. I cry because taking care of kids is not hard, it's tough. Taking care of kids. As nip up in place. But yet we do it out of love. there's not love that covers it all can i understand it's right now yeah of course Vishal today i wanna i wanna i wanna teach you something Thank you. Can I teach you something? Good morning to each and every soul that is here, even those who are on life. My name is Kreflor Tenonoma Shabe. And this morning I'm here to present to you a poem. The title of the poem is Grace of the Sabbath. The morning light through stained glass streams. Soft hymns arise like whispered dreams. The church sings and worships songs of praise. Hearts are lifted high in love anew. The preacher speaks words of grace, of love, of hope, and of mercy's place. Each sermon like a guiding flame that stirs the soul and speaks God's name. With hands held high, we stand as one, beneath the cross and beneath the sun. a blessed bond and a holy call. Let the grace of the Sabbath fill us all. Thank you. Did you hear what I said before we come up? I said, let me teach you something. Did you hear the eloquent way we speak? These are the future. These are the leaders of today. That was powerful. That was powerful. I pray that God will make you the man that you are. No, no, no, no. He already made you. I'm just saying. He must. What's it mean? Dust off. Because some of the dust made us to look differently. He already made us. But the dust made us to look in others' eyes differently. My son, the youngest one, the eldest one, Shanri may he still rest in peace now That guy always used to tell me that he although he has so much anger he will not lift his hand to a woman. And he tried it. although many women or let's say girls because he was surrounded with so many girls many girls tried to push him but he never hit any of them because I said to him you hit a girl He is gone. He is going to die. Because by that time, I realized that I have done it wrongly. I was the most gruesome like woman abuser. And I didn't want that for my son. You see, the things that we do is we disadvantage them. because we don't give them the opportunity. You see? But today we have come to the end. Bishop, do you know, I don't think these days I must make notes because anything from my notes is me, you can almost say it's not make sense. Here my notes are standing. Every child has a father, but not every father is present. There can never be a child without a father whether he dead or alive absent or present a child has a father Some fathers give money but no presents Some give presents but no provision Some are fathers in name only, but absent of men doesn't mean the absence of purpose. Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. Psalm 27 verse 10. Psalm 20 verse 10 The righteous man walks in integrity The child is blessed after him And I even made the notes there I said identity crisis is real But so is redemption You will be redeemed from your identity crisis As soon as you start knowing yourself How can you know yourself? As a man, you know not to stand. As a man, you know to stand when you take a pee. As a woman, you know to sit to take a pee. That's identity. many know literally know who they are but our cultures our families have defined us to be different we love a life of fractured injuries pain because we want to be what did i write here i want to say say it like the the way i wrote it we love a life where culture and families or the lies define us But God doesn't give us names. He gives us identity. He doesn't give us names. He gives us identity. So all the pain that we go through has never defined us not to be the diamonds that we are. Because the pain that you've gone through is the pressure that formed the diamonds Pain becomes purpose when God is involved So any pain that you go through is the purpose becomes a purpose, I mean, because God is involved. You know, you know, Bishop, the scripture that says trials and tribulations that scripture is the thing that makes us to be in line you see ah there's there's no there's too many things i missed give me two seconds not two seconds for a few more minutes let me run Your past will never decide your future. Your choices will. Your past will never decide your future. Your choices will. Whether you know your father or not, what matters is who you choose to become. I cannot know my father to be the one who he is, but I choose. I lost my point now. Okay, yeah. Nobody can ever choose who their father is. Like, your father is your father regardless you can't choose you can't choose to be him not to be your father he's your father but you can choose who you can become to your children i can become whoever I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Legacy is like the way I wrote it. Legacy is not what you inherit. It's what you create. Your legacy you will not inherit. You create your legacy. Deuteronomy 30 verse 19 says, I have said before you life and death. Now choose life so that you and your children may live. Where Joshua said, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. I've written this. Bishop, you must forgive me, but I don't want us to miss this one. Next week, I'm not coming back to this one. Next week is not Father's Day anymore. God is the Father you have always wanted. You know that I promised myself, because I grew up with a stepdad, I promised myself my children will not grow up with stepdads. That was a promise I made to myself. I will keep my children. So when I was, I think I was even a boy, I even said that. Because even when earthly fathers failed, God our heavenly Father, He never does. He doesn't. He can't. One thing He can't do is He can't fail. Where there was a gap He will fill those gaps Where there was healing needed He will heal them Psalm 68 verse 5 A father to the fatherless a defender of widows a God in His holy dwelling Psalm 68 verse 5. Galatians 4 verse 6 and 7. Galatians 4 verse 6 and 7. Because you are his sons God sent his spirit Of his son Into our hearts Abba father Lastly Let me not use the word lastly Just now something come up again Wherever we go in life it's a learning curve that teach us something so that we can teach others back as a father teach his children their children will teach their children if I teach you today not to come to church I can guarantee you now your children will never see a door of a church and their children will never see a door of a church because you have taught them not to the healing process that you are going through you know like healing from the past wounds of your father's failures is the ones that teaches teaches you how to not let your children go through the same thing. Because your healing is never for yourself it for others Your healing is to teach others Bishop if this cup is hot and it doesn have this ear thing what do they call this thing? The ear, whatever. The handle or whatever. The holder. The holder, right? If this cup is hot, when you take it the very first time, you will put it down. you will not go back and take it again do the same thing you will put it down again then you will say but I want it now you will use something hold it for the heat you see so it teach you about heat the moment the child comes close by it's hot don't touch that's teaching you told them it's hot they don't want to listen be like me hey bishop there was a there was a child in the car in in in my car now every time the mother that was in the car said sit down the child doesn't want to sit down visual every time like literally i mean talk is nearby i don't need to talk you know what i did she was standing on the chair at the back i hit the brakes I hit the brake so hard. I said, quiet. You didn't want to listen. Quiet. I said, hey, quiet. That's a lesson. I don't need to talk too much. She knew now, whenever somebody says, sit in the car, she will sit. So when I saw people the kid is sitting up straight there I just saying God please cover that child in your precious blood Let angels encamp around that child Because the mother and father doesn know if accident happened that child can easily break their neck. And this thing of Fasalari Band. Band! But you don't need to tell a child fast enough. You have to instill it that it's time. Now teaching is how it goes. I've almost written a poem myself, but I said, no, no, no. Let me give the daughter of daughters this thing. And I just said, let me just end this with, you are not fatherless. You are not forgotten. You are not the lies that you've been told. nor are you the culture that you've been raised up with. You are the truth God speaks over you. You may have been raised by culture. You may have been raised by confusion. You may have been raised by circumstances. but you are being re-raised by grace. Let the father of fathers restore you and let your children rise because of you. If there is a time that you had a grudge against your father for some or whatever reason, that your father didn't do what he was supposed to do. I want us to ask for forgiveness. I want us to ask and say, although they don't know that they've hurt you, just ask for forgiveness. it even don't even say it to them just say i'm asking for forgiveness do you know what i always ask for forgiveness of i ask for forgiveness because i kept my dad up for many nights not knowing where I was. It's not my fault that he ran away but I still ask that he for forgiveness that I kept him up for many nights stressing about what I eat or don't eat. I ask for forgiveness that I caused the pain that when I was introduced to his family They swear at him You remember they were swearing at him that they didn even know he had another child You remember the time when he was introducing myself We went for the reunion And he introduced, here's my son. And everybody was, there was two or three guys that were swearing. Ah, and you didn't tell us. We only know now. I'm 40. How old am I? 45? No, 46? Who old is I? 46. 46, yeah. 46 years they didn't know. I forgive him for that. Because he had his pride as well. so anything that we need to ask our fathers for forgiveness for for the night that he hurt me and i was wrong but i made like i wasn wrong let forgive them ask for forgiveness still even if you've done something wrong or right you still ask for forgiveness we want to take this time and just be quiet just one minute and think of those dads they were they were not absent because they wanted to but they died before they could be a present father you just want to keep for one minute take that time and in remembrance of them Thank you and i say happy father day to all those fathers out there God will richly bless you For going through What you have been going through For keeping up What you have been keeping up with God will see you through For sometimes even crying Without the tears Not to let them see You are crying God will be with you In Jesus mighty name Amen Share the grace for us Because me is Many grace
